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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24876301">Space Has Never Been So Cold</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenniM777/pseuds/JenniM777'>JenniM777</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Keithtober 2019 [26]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Voltron: Legendary Defender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Blood, Happy Ending, M/M, Mentions of Violence, klangst, sad keith, severe injuries</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:27:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,888</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24876301</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenniM777/pseuds/JenniM777</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Day 26 of Keithtober 2019 - Stars/Space</p><p>Keith and Lance have a fight And Keith learns the hard way just how cold space can be.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Keith/Lance (Voltron)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Keithtober 2019 [26]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1504211</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>98</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Space Has Never Been So Cold</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello all you lovely readers! I am still here! Life has been hectic as I'm sure it is for all of you. Work has been crazy, isolation has been crazy, and to top it all off my husband and I are in the process of packing/moving so writing has been pushed to the side a bit. But I am still here and I plan to finish this series (hopefully before Keithtober 2020!!!)</p><p>Anyway enjoy and as always thanks for the kudos and comments and thanks to those of you who are still waiting around for these sporadic updates.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The black void of space has never felt colder to Keith than it did tonight. As he stared at the stars from the large bay window in the castle ship, for the first time in a long time he felt like maybe, just maybe, space was not where he belonged. He took a deep shuddering breath as he placed both hands and his forehead against the cool pane of glass that separated him from the fathomless void before him. All of his life, Keith dreamt of flying, of shooting off to far off places away from Earth, a pull in his gut that he couldn’t explain. And then once he realized he was part Galra, the pull to distant planets made more sense to him. But tonight he wished he was anywhere but here.</p><p>Soft footsteps shake Keith from his drifting thoughts and he abruptly pulls away from the window crossing his arms and pulling his face into its familiar scowl. He turns just in time to see Allura peering around the door and hesitating when she sees Keith.</p><p>“Did you need something Allura?” Keith doesn’t mean for his tone to be so harsh but Allura doesn’t seem to mind.</p><p>Allura pulls on the sleeves of her dress, a nervous habit when she’s building up to something and Keith knows it’s not something he wants to hear, “I was actually hoping to find you. I was wondering how….”</p><p>Before Allura can even finish Keith is putting a hand up and walking away. This time he doesn’t feel bad for the sharpness in his voice, “I’m fine. I don’t want to talk about it. Tell everyone to just stop tip-toeing around me.”</p><p><br/>Allura lets out a soft sigh, “We’re all just worried about you, about both of you.”</p><p>Keith turns, his eyes harden and there’s a brief flash of yellow, “I’m not made of glass I won’t break. Just leave it.”</p><p>Before Allura can respond Keith walks away. His shoulders are tense, fists clenched at his sides, his footsteps are loud and brisk as he leaves, turning his back on the endless sea of stars, stars that once held hope and a constellation of other things an orphaned boy never thought he could have. Things he wishes he never knew what it was like to actually have, things like love.</p><p>Keith storms through the door and makes several turns down long hallways and stops suddenly. There in front of him, staring with just as much heat and venom is Lance. It’s like they are both frozen for several moments, a silent stand-off, who will break first, but neither of them do. They both turn away at the exact same moment with more vitriol between them than those first few days in space.</p><p>Keith hasn’t even made it to his room when the alarms go off, Allura’s voice echoing throughout the castle about several Galra ships, the same song and dance since they’ve been in space. Another day, another duty, another mission while Keith’s heart that had once started to thaw now slowly ices over even harder than it once was.</p><p>
  <em>Keith is pacing the small room, agitated at the nonsense coming from Lance. He doesn’t even know what they are fighting about anymore, or what started it to begin with, its just words, “Look Keith, I don’t know why it’s so hard for you to show a little affection once in a while.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em><br/>Keith stops in the middle of the room and glares at Lance, “There is a time and place for affection and in the middle of that meeting was not the place.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em><br/>Lance lets out a huff, “It was a small peck on the cheek.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“And it could cost us. Anyone can turn against Voltron and use it against us.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Now Lance starts pacing, his arms flailing as he starts to rant, “And you don’t think they won’t use our friendship against us? You don’t think they won’t use Shiro against you? Haggar and Lotor will use anything and everything they can against us, so forgive me if I think a little affection is the least of our problems.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em><br/>Lance stops mid rant and turns to face Keith, his face gone pale all of a sudden, “Unless you’re just embarrassed by me.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Keith feels his jaw drop and can only stand there mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. Lance nods as if figuring out the last piece of a puzzle, “God that’s it isn’t it? You’re embarrassed by me. You don’t want to be seen with me.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Keith narrows his eyes, “Will you listen to the shit coming from your mouth? That has got to be the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. You are a Paladin. What makes you think anyone would be embarrassed by you?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em><br/>But now, Lance is too far in his head to hear what Keith is telling him, “Now you’re calling me ridiculous. I should have figured it out weeks ago. You won’t hold my hand, you barely even look at me even when we’re here in the castle, and you barely even touch me even when we’re sleeping next to each other. How could I have been so stupid?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Keith doesn’t even know how to respond to that which only makes things worse. Lance starts accusing Keith of not denying the fact that he’s stupid and before long the pair of them are screaming. They are face to face, red with anger, words filled with hurt, and Keith snaps and he knows as soon as he’s said it he won’t be able to take it back or make it right. His temper gets the best of him and he lets his anger dictate the next words out of his mouth, “I don’t know what I ever saw in you. If it weren’t for Voltron or being stuck on this castle with a handful of people I would have never been into you.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em><br/>And once the words are out, the air is sucked out of the room. The silence becomes deafening as Keith and Lance just stand there. Blue eyes staring into dark grey eyes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lance stands just a bit straighter, pushes his shoulders back and there’s a sharpness and coldness about him that Keith has never seen, even when staring down the enemy through his scope, “I think maybe we need some time apart.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That night Keith sleeps in a cold bed, his sheets and pillows still in Lance’s room. Two days later Keith almost trips over a box of things in front of his door. A week later they can’t form Voltron. Three and a half months later they still don’t talk to each other and Keith refuses to break, never knowing he’s already broken and it’s only a matter of time until he shatters in the most horrific way.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Keith sprints to the Red Lion, trying to push the thought of Lance staring at him with those cold dead eyes only moments before the alarm sounded. And just like the last five or six time, forming Voltron is a complete disaster. The bond is horribly weak and Keith pulls out first. The abrupt disruption of the bond leaves everyone extremely vulnerable and that’s when the real disaster strikes.</p><p>The Blue Lion is hit hard, she goes into a flat spin and it’s like time freezes. Keith can only watch and listen as Lance fights to gain control over Blue, “Systems are down, no power. Shit!”</p><p>Lance slams hard into a nearby Galra cruiser and Keith doesn’t even register that he’s moving until the Red Lion has destroyed half of the cruiser and Keith is on his feet before she comes to a stop. He hears his own footsteps as he runs through a hallway backlit by purple lights. He tunes out everyone yelling at him, Shiro yelling for him to get back in his lion, Hunk and Pidge screaming for Lance, and in all of the chaos there’s nothing from Lance.</p><p>Keith makes the corner and there’s Blue, a mangled mess with half of her body inside the cruiser. Her mouth is open, no lights flicker, no signs of life and then there are two Galran soldiers dragging Lance. His body is twisted and Keith can see, even from as far off as he is that there’s a lot of blood. His helmet and chest plate are gone and Keith’s world stops at what happens next.</p><p>“What should we do with this one?”</p><p><br/>There’s a grunt and a boot makes contact with Lance’s side, “Kill him. One less Paladin to worry about. We can bring the body to Lotor.”</p><p>There’s the sound of gun fire and Lance’s body jerks with the force of the point blank shot. Keith is running, bayard in hand and he slices through both Galra without hesitation. Keith throws his helmet aside and rips off his gloves. He pushes back the hair from Lance’s forehead and ever so gently lifts him into his arms. Keith startles at the sound of metal groaning and looks up as flickering lights catch his attention. The Blue Lion moves just a bit and she’s closer than Red. Keith lifts Lance so gently into his arms and enters the Blue Lion, her interior backlit by soft blues as opposed to the red he’s accustomed to. She lets Keith settle and with one arm holding on to Lance and the other reaching for the controls, Blue comes to life and allows Keith to bring her and her paladin to the castle. He doesn’t let go of Lance, but he’s surrounded by a soft rumble that brings him a modicum of comfort.</p><p>The flight back doesn’t register, the long walk to the med bay with Lance in his arms is absent from his mind. It’s not until his arms are no longer holding their precious cargo does Keith come back to awareness. His arms are light without Lance, but his heart is heavy as he watches Coran.</p><p>Time comes and goes in weird flashes for Keith. He can’t move until he feels a warm hand on his arm. Shiro’s face is pale as he takes in Keith’s appearance, “You’re bleeding.”</p><p><br/>Keith looks down in a daze. His armor is flecked with blood but it’s drying and turning a rusted brown against the vibrant red and white. He blinks and looks at Shiro, “It’s not mine.”</p><p>It feels as if no time has passed but it must have because Keith is suspiciously clean of any blood, his armor is gone and his hair is slightly damp. He’s in a faded pair of sweats and one of Shiro’s t-shirts. His brother is next to him while Allura drapes a blanket across his shoulders, “He’s in shock.”</p><p>Keith is manipulated against a warm body unable to fight. Shiro’s voice is soft and shaking, “What should I do.”</p><p><br/>He hears Allura let out a soft sigh and feels her fingers gently brush through his hair, “Nothing for now. He’ll come out of it on his own.”</p><p>Days begin to pass and Keith has no concept of time, just bits and pieces of some awareness and no idea of what transpires between the passing moments of clarity.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Keith blinks slowly as he hears a door whoosh open. There’s a soft clacking sound near his head and he hears Pidge, “How’s Lance?”</p><p>There’s a sound of a body sinking into furniture and Hunk’s worried voice, “Coran won’t say.”</p><p>Pidge lets out a soft hum and almost absentmindedly scratches her nails softly against Keith’s scalp.</p><p>Another slow blink and Keith sits up. All the lights have dimmed and Pidge is asleep next to him. He’s numb all over as he stands up. He softly pads out of the room and finds himself in Lance’s room. It’s the first time he’s been there since their horrific fight. He doesn’t even bother to close the door, just lays on top of rumpled sheets and clutches at a discarded shirt nearby, eyes wide, unseeing and unnervingly dry.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p> </p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Keith stands in front of the healing pod but not really seeing anything. He’s vaguely aware of Coran next to him, “…..amazed at how delicate humans are, but quite resilient……healing……maybe two more of your earth weeks…..a fighter.”</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Keith stares up into the eyes of the Blue Lion. He doesn’t feel her the way he feels his connection with Red, but there’s a deep emptiness that they both share. It’s a deep, guttural hollowness and Keith turns away. He leans against a massive paw and slides down until he’s sitting on the cold hard floor, his arms crossed on his knees and his head buried.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p> </p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Allura is humming softly. Keith’s head is resting on her shoulder and one of the mice is currently nestled in his hair against his neck. His eyes are still suspiciously dry.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Everyone is gathered around, just like that first time, waiting for Lance to finish healing. Keith stares at the dried blood on Lance’s temple, the large stain where blood has seeped through the healing suit on his chest, and at the matted mess of chestnut hair. There’s a soft whoosh and Lance tumbles out and into Hunk’s waiting arms. Keith watches as Lance’s chest heaves with the first inhale and all of Keith’s awareness slams into him all at once.</p><p>He watches the rise and fall of Lance’s chest, he listens to the rasp in his voice from weeks or maybe months of disuse, and suddenly Keith is the one who isn’t breathing. His knees wobble, he feels weak from not eating properly, his hands are trembling, and his whole body shakes violently. He’s slammed with relief in the most violent ways as his brain registers one thing, Lance is alive. He’s alive and breathing and whole.</p><p>Days and weeks and months of living in a haze has caught up to him. The fear of holding Lance’s lifeless body, the ache in his arms as he carried him through the hallway, the ache of not knowing if he would live, all of it rips through Keith and his knees give out. He crumbles into a heap and lets out a harsh sob. Emotions are flooding out of Keith in the form of hot tears. He pushes away at the hands trying to comfort him and gasps out the only thing that makes any sense to him, “Lance.”</p><p>He doesn’t know how he knows, but he knows when Lance pulls him into his arms. Lance, with all of his injuries, fresh from weeks of healing is the one holding Keith together. Oh the irony is not lost on Keith that he’s the weak one here and Lance is the one to put him back together. He grips at the thin fabric of the healing suit, his forehead pressed into that broad chest. Fingers spread wide to feel the strong heartbeat that is there, even as the faint smell of copper lingers on Lance’s skin. Keith tries to match his breathing with Lance’s to reassure himself that he’s real, he’s here, he’s alive, but he can’t stop the tears or the sobs that wrack his entire body.</p><p>Keith’s voice cracks as he repeats Lance’s name over and over. He doesn’t stop until long fingers and gentle hands position his head against a solid chest. He listens intently to the strong heartbeat and tries to mimic the slow exaggerated breaths that Lance is taking.  He mumbles gibberish, but he has to tell Lance, has to tell him because they walked away from each other after their fight and he has to tell Lance, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I love you.”</p><p>Lance rocks back and forth slowly, his voice soft but raspy from weeks of disuse as he holds Keith, “Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay, I’m here now.”</p><p>Keith hears several voices, people talking around him, but he doesn’t care. He can only focus on the voice closest to him, that familiar softness whispering against his ear. How could he have ever thought he didn’t need Lance? How could he think his life would be complete once he knew the love of this beautiful sunshine boy? Why did he think he was strong enough to go on without him once he knew what it was like to be loved by someone so pure and selfless? Oh how Keith had never known he could be so broken when that love was taken away.</p><p>Days later, Keith and Lance are sitting huddled together in front of a large bay window. Lance has his head resting on Keith’s shoulder. Keith has a hand resting lightly around Lance’s waist. They watch the endless stars in front of them, they whisper wishes as shooting stars zip across the window, fingers trace nonsense patterns on any bit of exposed skin. Keith lets out a sigh. He once thought that space was a cold void full of nothing but darkness. But tonight, sitting with Lance, he appreciates the vastness and the beauty before him. They had a hard few days rehashing the words spoken in anger but now they sit side by side, eager to find out what the universe has in store for them once the war is over. For once, Keith doesn’t feel so cold staring into the endless sea of stars.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
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